Relationship Crossroads Gifts

"I suppose I can wait a few more minutes before breaking up with him."

The fate of the emigrant

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Romance

"You've changed."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Great Therapy!'

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"We don't talk anymore."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

The Map of the Human Heart

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'