Career Crisis Gifts

Caged Businessman

"Don't do anything rash, sir - The government gave us two more weeks to get into compliance!"

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Spin Doctor, "You're not as unhappy as you think you are."

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"If we are to save the firm from collapse then we need leadership...perhaps we should start by convening a group to have a little think about the colour of the files we'll be using?"

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

'How long's he been out there?'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."