Career Downturn Gifts

Suicidal businessmen "The recession has struck their company badly"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Pipe Dream.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."