Career Downfall Gifts

'Wow, I used to be a Master of the Universe too!'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Caged Businessman

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

'How long's he been out there?'

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

Ed is upset because he didn't get the promotion he had promised himself.

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Still Here

'So you see, no matter how you look at it, it's all downhill.'

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

"We liken our business to a nursery Smithers. Unfortunately, we see you as more of a ground cover than a climber."

'Any awards or honors?'

Businessman Panhandling

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"In five years, I see myself with the same job title, about the same salary, and significantly more responsibilities."

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"Edwin wasn't particularly good at interpreting female body language, but in this case it was easy."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'