Career Downfall Pillows

'Wow, I used to be a Master of the Universe too!'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Caged Businessman

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

Ed is upset because he didn't get the promotion he had promised himself.

'How long's he been out there?'

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

Still Here

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

"We liken our business to a nursery Smithers. Unfortunately, we see you as more of a ground cover than a climber."

'So you see, no matter how you look at it, it's all downhill.'

'Any awards or honors?'

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

Businessman Panhandling

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"In five years, I see myself with the same job title, about the same salary, and significantly more responsibilities."

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

"Edwin wasn't particularly good at interpreting female body language, but in this case it was easy."

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'