Job Setback Pillows

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Very Difficult Conversations

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Danger Slow Sand.

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

Between Offices

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

St. Elmo's fired.

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Fries and kids