Career Challenged Gifts

'...and our work environment offers..well...wonderful horror stories to tell your grandkids.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Caged Businessman

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

Working 9 to 5.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'