Career Boaster Gifts

"Your son is a bus driver? Well, my Andy goes to university..."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

37 years in the same position.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Born In Captivity.

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Planned service changes

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Tweaking the CV.

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'