Career Boaster Pillows

"Your son is a bus driver? Well, my Andy goes to university..."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

37 years in the same position.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Born In Captivity.

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

Planned service changes

Tweaking the CV.

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"