Career Advice Collector Gifts

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

"It's not you. It's me. Okay...It is you..."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"The boss is not very bright." "True, but if he was smart you wouldn't have a job."

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'Something that'll get me googled,'

'Kids, if I'd gotten into computers, instead of baseball, I'd have a job now!'

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

"What can I DO? I'm Lightning Larry, for God's Sake!"

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Career counselor: 'If you want a great job, that won't be exported, get into politics.'

'I'm sorry, but we're looking for a seasoned veteran.'

"Looks like you're quite the wheeler and dealer... unfortunately we're only hiring movers and shakers."

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

'Any backup plan in case your dream of becoming a YouTube sensation doesn't pan out?'

'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'