Career Advice Aficionado Gifts

"Have you ever considered biological terrorism?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Feel free to take notes."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'In general, do the right thing.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

The world's most unemployable family

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"The boss is not very bright." "True, but if he was smart you wouldn't have a job."