Business Advice Aficionado Gifts

'...never take anything for granite!'

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

The Rubber Ball Company

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'In general, do the right thing.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

The little engine that could delegate.

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

"I love fast break business success."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

Accountant Bedtime Stories

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

"I always cry at mergers."

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

Intelligent dog.