Unwanted Advice Collector Gifts

'I'm so glad you came to visit, young Louis. I've saved these cuttings on how to live your life properly'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Playdough's The Republic

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Trending wise.

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'No, no, the pills don't have any medication to improve your balance. You'll just get steadier on your feet by trying to catch pills that are thrown to you.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

Listenin' in

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

'Cake philosophy'

W M. Beemers Adages

Hints for the Park.

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

"I need a card that's heavy on caring but light on commitment."

'Ya know, my mom always said, 'you can catch more flies with hones than with vinegar'!'

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'