Unwanted Advice Collector T-Shirts

'I'm so glad you came to visit, young Louis. I've saved these cuttings on how to live your life properly'

Playdough's The Republic

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Trending wise.

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

Listenin' in

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'Cake philosophy'

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

W M. Beemers Adages

Hints for the Park.

"I need a card that's heavy on caring but light on commitment."

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

"Look, Alice, if you're unhappy with your life, just do what I do: whisper you wants and needs into a cloth napkin, then crumple it up and put it in your lap."