Quirky Advice Collector T-Shirts

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Things are looking up!"

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

Inflating Boobs.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."