Quirky Advice Giver T-Shirts

Have you tried drinking ?

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'You're better off without him.'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

'I'm screwed...'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

Off the wall legal advisor.

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'I'm terribly mixed up.'

"Have you considered the possibility that you could be too old for escapology classes?"

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

More priceless words of encouragement from the old man.

Fortune Cookies

Beach psychiatrist.

"Take him home, have sex...Then bite his goddamn head off."