Health Advice Collector Gifts

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

"Take one a day."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"Don't eat so fast"

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."

Podiatry. If the frostbite was any worse we'd have to amputate. You just barely stayed out of the "toe away" zone!

Hints for the Park.

I think you're taking your hydration too far

Infodemic

'I'll trade my gangrenous foot for your diseased lung and throat tumour.'

'Drink a pint of water every two hours, and stay in bed for a week.'

Field of Beans.

I've already got a diagnosis from homedoc.com, but I thought I'd see you for a second opinion!

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

'Frankly, the only way to ease your back-pain would be for your rider to go on a diet...'

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."