Health Advice Collector Pillows

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

"Take one a day."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"Don't eat so fast"

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."

Hints for the Park.

I think you're taking your hydration too far

'Drink a pint of water every two hours, and stay in bed for a week.'

Infodemic

I've already got a diagnosis from homedoc.com, but I thought I'd see you for a second opinion!

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

'Frankly, the only way to ease your back-pain would be for your rider to go on a diet...'

"First, find someone to blame."

"Does milk help with diarrhea?"

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."