Health Advice Pillows

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

"My doctor told me to get outdoors more, so now I put on more yard sales."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'