Life Advice Collector Pillows

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Feel free to take notes."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

A Bug's Life Advice

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

Months ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I think you should laugh, love, and go with the flow - and do that with gusto! Don't sweat the small stuff. Kiss all the girls. Boys or whichever you prefer, but remember to laugh. - Bob. Pervert! If we allow laughing, then we'll have to allow cackling. Maybe even guffawing. I refuse to go down

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

Trending wise.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

'Try not to be an idiot.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

"Could you all please just listen to my sermon instead of asking me what I would do?"

"Of course I still do stupid stuff. But now much slower and with far less frequency and zeal."

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

Al, what advice would you give me as I begin my journey on the highway of adulthood? Pull over onto the shoulder and pretend you have engine trouble. With luck, a beautiful female mechanic will stop to help.

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

'Always remember you're unique... just like everyone else!'

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

'Cake philosophy'

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

"Bob managed a good retirement, saw a thing or two."

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."