Life Advice Collector Gifts

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

"Feel free to take notes."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

A Bug's Life Advice

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Trending wise.

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'Try not to be an idiot.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"Of course I still do stupid stuff. But now much slower and with far less frequency and zeal."

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"Could you all please just listen to my sermon instead of asking me what I would do?"

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'Always remember you're unique... just like everyone else!'

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

'Cake philosophy'

"Bob managed a good retirement, saw a thing or two."

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

W M. Beemers Adages