Bad Advice Collector Gifts

"Doing something never solves anything."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

Trending wise.

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

'Cake philosophy'

"Beware of everything."

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

W M. Beemers Adages

Hints for the Park.

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

"I warned you about listening to Squawky there for navigational advice."

"...then my date shows up early and I'm still covered in mud. So embarrassing."

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

"Look, Alice, if you're unhappy with your life, just do what I do: whisper you wants and needs into a cloth napkin, then crumple it up and put it in your lap."