Bad Advice Buff Gifts

"I warned you about listening to Squawky there for navigational advice."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"I have no thumbs."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Pope tarts.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

Nice park. . .

'Opponents of democracy, such as Chavez and Putin, want unlimited executive power and limits on the media.'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

"You always knew where you stood with him."

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

'So, I am all for Juncker!'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

Mannequin protest

"I know so much that I don't know where to begin."

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

The institute.

'Fasten yourself to your seats please.'

Gas Leak!

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

Menu. How much is that stuff? Read the hash tag.