Bad Idea Collector Gifts

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Suffering from Cooties?

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Useless add-ons.

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

My daddy ate my homework

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Shark infested custard!

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Cheating Death.

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'