Bad Idea Collector Pillows

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Useless add-ons.

Suffering from Cooties?

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Shark infested custard!

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Cheating Death.

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

My daddy ate my homework

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'