Collector's Catastrophe Gifts

"Do you have any idea what you've done? There are twelve hundred bottles of cognac on that ship!"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

Stan's OK Deliveries

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

A Vampire asleep in his 'Coffin Sweet Coffin'.

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

"Look what's trending now!"

"This is for a dissatisfaction survey. On a scale of minus one to minus ten, how bad have we made it for you down here?"

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

"You commissioned it. Just tell me when to stop."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

"Beware of everything."

Like me on Facebook?

"Budget cuts. We replaced the scythes with sporks. Now let's get goin'."

David Petraeus

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

"He just loves his cute little postmortem doll!"

Death reads about the covid pandemic

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

Save the Lowlands or put away his loose stamps?

'I know art can be a good investment, but it's important to love what you collect.'

"Time to prop up my ego. . ."

'I can't believe everybody isn't camping out to get in first.'

Death puts his feet up.

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

Large box of baking soda in the morgue.

''Out for a quiet drink, Derek has been accosted in the pub by a man whose hobby is reservoir spotting'

"Remember son, there is no such thing as a free lunch! Only eat what you catch: anything you just happen to 'find' could be a poisoned bait. . ."