Collector's Catastrophe Gifts

"Do you have any idea what you've done? There are twelve hundred bottles of cognac on that ship!"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

Stan's OK Deliveries

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

A Vampire asleep in his 'Coffin Sweet Coffin'.

"This is for a dissatisfaction survey. On a scale of minus one to minus ten, how bad have we made it for you down here?"

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

"You commissioned it. Just tell me when to stop."

"Look what's trending now!"

David Petraeus

"Budget cuts. We replaced the scythes with sporks. Now let's get goin'."

"Beware of everything."

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"He just loves his cute little postmortem doll!"

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

Death reads about the covid pandemic

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'I know art can be a good investment, but it's important to love what you collect.'

Save the Lowlands or put away his loose stamps?

Death puts his feet up.

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

Large box of baking soda in the morgue.

'I can't believe everybody isn't camping out to get in first.'

"Time to prop up my ego. . ."

'How cute, a death in the family.'

''Out for a quiet drink, Derek has been accosted in the pub by a man whose hobby is reservoir spotting'

"Look, I promised you a place in the country, and as far as I’m concerned, I’ve held up my end of the bargain."