Dating Disaster Collectors Gifts

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

"Public display of rejection"

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

"He was a lousy date!"

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

A young man creating an awkward silence

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

'This should teach you never to ask Naomi Campbell out on a date.'

Can't that dating service ever get it right?

"Just for future reference, save your private heartache for the third or fourth date."

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."

It was to be their first, and last date.