Dating Disasters Survivors Gifts

Standards...What standards??!

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"You had me at hell..."

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-28).

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"It's not you, Larry. I'm just tired of dating 'low hanging fruit'. "

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

Discovering that he as out of cologne before his big date, Rodney quickly grabbed a can of wildflower scented Raid.

"He was a lousy date!"

"But on the plus side, you won't have to pick up the check."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

'This should teach you never to ask Naomi Campbell out on a date.'

'That's it, no more blind dates for me.'

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."