Dating Disaster Navigator Gifts

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"The date was going well until he turned up!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I need a man who will commit."

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

Relate on-line: An error of type 4807 has occurred in your marriage.

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

Trapeze artist with very long arms

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'So baby, ever thought about being on the bottom?'

"This is Stan, my latest project."

'Son, you just got your first credit card and you're going on a date. My advice: keep it in your pants.'

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'Well admit it, we're both here for the same reason.'

A young man creating an awkward silence

"He was a lousy date!"

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."