Dating Disaster Navigator Gifts

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"The date was going well until he turned up!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"I need a man who will commit."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

Relate on-line: An error of type 4807 has occurred in your marriage.

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Trapeze artist with very long arms

'Son, you just got your first credit card and you're going on a date. My advice: keep it in your pants.'

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'So baby, ever thought about being on the bottom?'

"This is Stan, my latest project."

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

'Well admit it, we're both here for the same reason.'

"He was a lousy date!"

A young man creating an awkward silence

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'