Health Tips Collector Gifts

'Drink a pint of water every two hours, and stay in bed for a week.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

Stop smoking,instantly.

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

Life Extension Journal.

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Hazmat suit

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"Everything is fat-free. So why am I still fat?"

Podiatry. If the frostbite was any worse we'd have to amputate. You just barely stayed out of the "toe away" zone!

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'He had chest pains. A real wake-up call to slow down a bit. Unfortunately, he was on another line and missed it.'

Hints for the Park.

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

Field of Beans.

It's an advice column. Eat your vegetables. Get to bed early. Dress warmly. Be prompt. Drink plenty of liquids.

'I'll trade my gangrenous foot for your diseased lung and throat tumour.'

Say yes to Fat's Chicken Nuggets. Buy 50 - Get free addiction counselling

'Give me some sausages, I want to end it all.'

'I've got every disease in this book except hypochondria...'

'Frankly, the only way to ease your back-pain would be for your rider to go on a diet...'

'I never thought of that, but child proof containers DO drive up the cost of health care.'

"First, find someone to blame."

"Does milk help with diarrhea?"

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."