Quirky Wisdom Collector Gifts

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Playdough's The Republic

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

Evolution...the modern-brush fox.

'I'm screwed...'

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

Trending wise.

"'Buy low, sell high', is all I've figured out so far. Now go away"

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

Funky Facts: A Baby Koala is called?

"Mr. Saltee"

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

Paranoia clinic: 'Conspiracy theories: $1.00 per dozen'.

Fortune Cookies

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

'Cake philosophy'

'Why are you telling me all this? We don't need any more.'

W M. Beemers Adages

'Ya know, my mom always said, 'you can catch more flies with hones than with vinegar'!'

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

"'Footcube', eh? It's a game-changer, alright."

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'