Quirky Wisdom Lover Gifts

Fortune Cookies

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Mass Confucian

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'Don't be silly - I love you for your body AND your tiny little brain!'

Socrates

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'I'm screwed...'

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

"When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history." "You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses." "What's that mean?" "Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity... even its identity." "The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history." "(Yawn) Old people talk a lot." "What I'm saying is, you were not my firs

Garbage is a collector's item.

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

'Very interesting. How many bird calls do you know?'

'Think about this, Kid...If I knew the meaning of life, would I be spending mine, sitting on the top of a mountain?'

Funky Facts: A slug has no teeth, 2 teeth or over 25,000 teeth?

'I don't know what's wrong with me. It's gotten so I can't tell the difference between the Truth and a truism anymore!'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"My advice, don't marry for money. You can borrow it for 3.5%."

Philosophy 201: Readings from the works of Descartes, Kant,Spinoza, Plato, Sartre, Yogi Berra & Vince Lombardi.

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

Psychiatrist with phrenology chart, reads bumps on head.

"The secret of my long life is coffee....how did you guess?"