Quirky Wisdom Seekers Gifts

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Oh, crap.'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

K9 Literati.

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

'Oh, this is my son - I'm home-enlightening him.'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

After years of pointless therapy, Morris took up speleology and finally found himself.

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

'That's it? Listen to my mom?'

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

"Some will love you and some will hate you. It's always been that way with anchovies."

Author of thought for the day on commitment remains anonymous.

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

'I'm screwed...'

Healthy Witch Digest

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''