Quirky Wisdom Collectors Gifts

"The meaning of life. It's about 14 years, half off for good behaviour."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Playdough's The Republic

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

'Except...That.'

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Wayne. Wayne once sat in a bath full of jelly for 24 hours.'

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'I'm screwed...'

"'Buy low, sell high', is all I've figured out so far. Now go away"

Trending wise.

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

Fortune Cookies

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

'Cake philosophy'

'Why are you telling me all this? We don't need any more.'

W M. Beemers Adages

'Ya know, my mom always said, 'you can catch more flies with hones than with vinegar'!'

Life's toughest decision-when to start middle age.

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

Rituals

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

'This says that under certain conditions cows become combustible... I'd hate to be one of those.'

"Granddad tells us to see the 'big picture,' so we're watching more television.