Cardiac Arrest Gifts

'Cards for those special occasions'.

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Running

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"OK, ready to go again?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Running

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'Every pacemaker recipient is required to carry jumper cables...'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

January Joiner

Nordic Career-Trak

"We'll widen the clogged artery by inserting a balloon."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

"Still on your left."

Handy-lion

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room