Accident Gifts

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

Barbeque Casualty.

"You run into a window, too?"

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

Broken ankle.

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

Sling

Cluster Catastrophe

'What are YOU doing here?'

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

'...then this gorgeous blonde fell into my arms, she's just fallen off the roof.'

Medical insurance reminder

"And hold the mayo."

'That's for letting my wife pass her test yesterday - this morning she crashed my car!'

Attack of footballs.

Arnie's career is cut short by a beanball! (man sits at desk).