Car Accident Gifts

"And just like that, Facebook is giving us ads for used cars, optometrists and couples counselling."

"I need comprehensive cover please, starting yesterday!"

"When are visiting hours?"

City Bank. I need a loan to pay the mechanic for repairing my car. Ah! You want the lender for fender-bender menders!

"Those airbags are terrific!"

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

'The bad news is, I've just crashed into a parked car. The worst news is, it was your car.'

If you hadn't written the car off...I could visit you more often.

Hello, claims department please!

'The good news is, when the dredger brought up the car it was full of fish.'

'Do you cover the deductible?'

'I had an accident with the car Dad, can I borrow the other one?'

"I think we should send his cell phone to whomever he was texting when he crashed."

"The best thing we've ever done is to buy advertising on vehicle air bags."

"And my client wants to know just what you intend to do about his dented fender!"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Barbeque Casualty.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"Oh...that's not good."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

Big bumpers.

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

'I've been in this business a long time, and believe me that's not laughing.'