Car Accident Gifts

"And just like that, Facebook is giving us ads for used cars, optometrists and couples counselling."

"I need comprehensive cover please, starting yesterday!"

"When are visiting hours?"

"Those airbags are terrific!"

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

'The bad news is, I've just crashed into a parked car. The worst news is, it was your car.'

If you hadn't written the car off...I could visit you more often.

Hello, claims department please!

'The good news is, when the dredger brought up the car it was full of fish.'

'Do you cover the deductible?'

'I had an accident with the car Dad, can I borrow the other one?'

"I think we should send his cell phone to whomever he was texting when he crashed."

"The best thing we've ever done is to buy advertising on vehicle air bags."

"And my client wants to know just what you intend to do about his dented fender!"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Barbeque Casualty.

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Oh...that's not good."

Big bumpers.

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'I've been in this business a long time, and believe me that's not laughing.'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

Car surrenders.