Car Crash Gifts

'That's for letting my wife pass her test yesterday - this morning she crashed my car!'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'This is your lucky day!'

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"Oh...that's not good."

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

'I've been in this business a long time, and believe me that's not laughing.'

Car surrenders.

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

'Here he comes now. I told you my mechanic was a good one.'

'Well, there's your problem lady. Your car's blown an engine seal.'

'Good news honey! My golf clubs are okay!'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

'Can I call you back?'

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

'It's just natures' way of telling you you're a lousy driver!'

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

"And my client wants to know just what you intend to do about his dented fender!"

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

'That's what I said! My car was hit by this dog!'

'I'm sorry to hear about your Husband's little car crash... By the way, here's my bill for fixing his brakes.'

"So Ed, car in the shop again?"