First Car Accident Gifts

'It's just natures' way of telling you you're a lousy driver!'

'My feet are killing me.'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

'Don't the Italians believe in remodeling, Dad?'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Hi! I'm on the Sphinx!"

"Is there a problem officer?"

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

Road Test

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Where's the Eiffel Tower?'

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

Traveling abroad from Cuba...

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Car party.

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Sling

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

'That's for letting my wife pass her test yesterday - this morning she crashed my car!'

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

The Tourist

"So Ed, car in the shop again?"