Accidents Gifts

'This is your lucky day!'

Liability lawyer.

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

"I slipped on a bar of soap in the bathtub, and my gun went off."

"I spilled my drink on my laptop, now it won't work. I'm hoping there's a statute of limitations that will get me out of being punished."

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

Cluster Catastrophe

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

'It's just natures' way of telling you you're a lousy driver!'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

On this Day in 1959 Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob Muscovitch, a Detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

"And my client wants to know just what you intend to do about his dented fender!"

The Lion Tamer

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

"And just like that, Facebook is giving us ads for used cars, optometrists and couples counselling."

Caution: slippery surface.

'The money we're saved on gas paid for Jim's leg when he tripped over the cord.'

"When are visiting hours?"

"Wow! I didn't think we were going to make it through that gap!"

Roller blader with bandaged head

"You're an accident attorney, so there's no point in explaining this in ethical terms."

"I think we should send his cell phone to whomever he was texting when he crashed."