After A Traffic Accident Gifts

'The last thing I heard was 'Go on, you've got the right of way!''

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Barbeque Casualty.

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Big slipper.

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

"You call all this a side effect?"

Nice park. . .

'This is your lucky day!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"The good news is, I got religion!"

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

Give Way To Cyclists

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

Zero gravity ahead.

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."