Dealing With An Accident Gifts

"What luck - it's a flyer from the Emergency Glass Repair company."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"The good news is, I got religion!"

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'The only part of him that wasn't broken. Solid concrete!'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Sling

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'