Workplace Accident Recovery Gifts

Acme Mine. First Aid Station. This should be fine in a few days, just don't pick at it.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Barbeque Casualty.

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

Big slipper.

"You call all this a side effect?"

'This is your lucky day!'

'I tried it at home...'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"The good news is, I got religion!"

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'