Recovering From Accident Gifts

'This is your lucky day!'

'I got twenty dollars for your motorbike, is that good?'

"You have third-degree burns over most of your body. At least your chin looks OK ??" aside from that big hairy mole."

'It's good to stop and smell the flowers, but not on the freeway.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'... And we'll also sue for loss of your tan.'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Barbeque Casualty.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Very funny!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

Being Serenading in Casualty

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

Time Out For Teddy

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."