Recovering From Injury Gifts

'Bursitis.'

"So, what can I do for you?"

'Sore back?'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'Don't talk to me about having an itch you can't scratch...'

'Honey, this personal injury lawyer says that if we act now, he'll also throw in a free slicer and dicer in its own carrying case.'

"Are you sure you're ready to get back on the ice?"

Broken ankle.

"That Timmy's a real trouper-he's playing with a sprained ankle and head lice."

'I tried to shrug off my foot injury and dislocated my shoulders!'

'You're getting a stye.'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'Should we abstain from sex?'

Dog fetching slippers for a man in leg casts.

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

'Hot compresses! Won't cold compresses do?'

Man with broken leg in cast.

'True, I was all for your taking up a hobby on retirement, but, TIGHTROPE-WALKING...!'

'He sprained his wrist inserting the exercise DVD.'

"Sue me"

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

A dog bringing a pirate his peg leg.

"You've broken your arm in one place... Eddie's dew drop inn."

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

'Very funny!'

'Very funny!'

'Congratulations, Irwin, you've finally earned your white belt.'

'Your horoscope says 'a brilliant day for adventure and romance'.'

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"I see you still haven't mastered the exercise ball."

Broken hospital sign.

Ankle Watch