Recovery From Accident Gifts

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Lady in wheelchair with friends.

'You received cards from seven auto body shops!'

'What possessed you to stick a fork into the toaster?' 'It's easy to be wise after the event!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

'I you hadn't written the car off. . . I could visit you more often.'

Later that day, Jim and Lisa fell in love in hospital!

The diagnosis? The chasis's bent and the bumper's dented!

'No dear,Daddy WAS an explosives expert...'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Barbeque Casualty.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Very funny!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

Being Serenading in Casualty

Time Out For Teddy