Recovery After Accident Gifts

"I've only just heard about your accident. Why didn't you write?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Barbeque Casualty.

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'Very funny!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

Being Serenading in Casualty

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

Time Out For Teddy

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'