Traffic Accident Recovery Gifts

'No, wait, let me guess! You were just standing there, sober, minding your own business and it was the car that just came out of nowhere!'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Barbeque Casualty.

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"The good news is, I got religion!"

Heavy Traffic.

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

'The only part of him that wasn't broken. Solid concrete!'

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'