Traffic Accident Recovery Gifts

'No, wait, let me guess! You were just standing there, sober, minding your own business and it was the car that just came out of nowhere!'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Barbeque Casualty.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Big slipper.

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'This is your lucky day!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

"The good news is, I got religion!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

Heavy Traffic.

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

'The only part of him that wasn't broken. Solid concrete!'