Workplace Accident Gifts

"You haven't discovered an anti-gravitational field, Krumwait! You're just a klutz."

The Lion Tamer

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"We need a union!'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Time Out For Teddy

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Labor Day '19

No Smoking.

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Wear a helmet

'This is your lucky day!'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

First Aid Box

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"I was running through the hallways and forgot to watch out for the low-hanging fruit."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."