Workplace Incident Gifts

It might be best all round Privitt if you took a month off.'

"It might have happened here Miss Hobson, but it doesn't qualify as an 'Industrial Accident."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"We need a union!'

Time Out For Teddy

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

Labor Day '19

No Smoking.

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

First Aid Box

"Our policy regarding paid vacations is - if you take a vacation, you'll pay for it."

'I am sure you will enjoy working here until your inevitable layoff.'

"I was running through the hallways and forgot to watch out for the low-hanging fruit."

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

'You're the very first employee to register your complaint via my 'open door' policy.'